Thursday, July 24, 2008

Obliviousness and Hypocrisy

Why is it that some people can't see the forest for the trees (I love that quote - bonus points if you can name where it came from)? Why is it that people can say one thing and turn right around and do another (that flies in the face of that which they stated) - without even realizing it? Or do they realize it? If they do, that's bad, it’s... well hypocritical – and I hate hypocrites. Now don’t get me wrong, nobody has the moral fiber of Jesus Christ, and God knows I’ve f’d up before, but how can you CONSISTENTLY say “I intentionally don’t do “X” because my reputation might suffer” and then turn around and intentionally do something (on multiple occasions, in front of a lot of people) that any rational person would perceive as hurting your reputation/embarrassing (or at least developing a not-so-good one, i.e. developing a reputation as a dill weed)??

Is it hypocrisy, self-delusion, idiocy, naïveté, all of the above…?

Triple bonus points (and a free drink) if you know of whom I am referring

What really bothers me about this kind of situation is that I can see it coming a mile away. I saw this happening long before it did…
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Sunday, July 20, 2008

Etiquette For a Night of Live Music

This is from Candye Kane's Myspace Blog -

If you inform the band that you are a singer, the band will appreciate help with the next few tunes, or however long you can remain standing onstage. If you're too drunk to stand unassisted, simply lean on one of the band members or the most expensive piece of equipment you see. Just pretend you're in a Karaoke bar. Simply feel free to walk up on stage and join in. By the way, the drunker you are, the better you sound, and the louder you should sing. If by chance you fall off the stage, be sure to crawl back up and attempt to sing harmony. Keep in mind that nothing assists the band more than outrageous dancing, fifth and sixth part harmonies,or a tambourine played on one and three and out of tempo. Try the cowbell; they love the challenge. The band always needs the help and will take this as a compliment. The microphone and PA system are merely props, they don't really amplify your voice, so when you grab the mic out of the singers hand be sure to scream into it at the top of your lungs, otherwise no one will hear what a great singer you are. Hearing is over-rated anyway. The crowd and the sound guy will love you for it.

When requesting a song from the band, just say "play ... my song!" We have chips implanted in our heads with an unlimited database of the favorite tunes of every patron who ever walked into a bar and all song sever recorded, so feel free to be vague. We love the challenge. If we say we really don't remember that tune you want, we're only kidding. Bands actually do know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if need be... it helps jog our memory, or just repeat your request over and over again. If a band tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they either forgot they know the tune or they are just putting you on. Try singing a few words for the band. Any words will do. It also helps to scream your request from across the room several times per set followed by the phrases, "AW COME ON!" and, "YOU SUCK!"Exaggerated hand gestures expressing disapproval from the dance floor are a big help as well, such as the thumbs down or your middle finger up. Put-downs are the best way to jog a band's memory. This instantly promotes you to the status of "Personal Friend Of The Band." You can bet your request will be the next song we play. Entertainers are notorious fakers and jokesters and never really prepare for their shows. They simply walk on stage with no prior thought to what they will do once they arrive. We don't actually make set lists or rehearse songs. We mostly just wait for you to yell something out, then fake it. An entertainer' s job is so easy, even a monkey could do it, so don't let them off the hook easily. Your request is all that matters. Once you've figured out what genre of music the band plays, please make your requests from a totally different genre. The more exaggerated the better. If its a big band playing, yell for some Metallica or Slayer or Pantera. Likewise, if its a Latin band, be sure to request Brown-eyed Girl or some Grateful Dead. Musicians need to constantly broaden their musical horizons, and its your job to see that it happens....immediately.

The best time to discuss anything with the band in any meaningful way is at the middle of a song when several band members are singing at the same time. Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny voice from the megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us. And we can converse with you in sign language while singing the song,so don't worry that we're in the middle of the chorus. Musicians a re expert lip readers too. If a musician does not reply to your question or comment during a tune, it's because they didn't get a good look at your mouth in order to read your lips. Simply continue to scream your request and be sure to over emphasize the words with your lips. This helps immensely. Don't be fooled. Singers have the innate ability to answer questions and sing at the same time. If the singer doesn't answer your questions immediately,regardless of how stupid the question may seem, it's because they are purposely ignoring you. If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this.

When an entertainer leans over to hear you better, grab his or her head in both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding their head securely so they cannot pull away. This will be taken as an invitation to a friendly and playful game of tug of war between their head and your hands. Don't give up! Hang on until the singer or guitar player submits.Drummers are often safe from this fun game since they usually sit in the back, protected by the guitar players. Keyboard players are protected by their instrument, and only play the game when tricked into coming from behind their keyboards. Though difficult to get them to play, it's not impossible, so keep trying. They're especially vulnerable during the break between songs.

As a last resort, wait until the band takes a break and then get onstage and start playing their instruments. They love this. Even if you are ejected from the club, you can rest assured in the fact you have successfully completed your audition. The band will call you immediately the following day to offer you a position.
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Thursday, July 17, 2008


It's done! the hot tub has been wired up and will soon be ready to go! we're filling it up as I type! Pics will be posted soon! Click Here to Read More..

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Band Audition

Well, off to an audition tonight... auditioning for the band Mind Trapp

Heavy Modern Rock... we'll see, it's been a while since I've played a lot of heavy stuff... well since before I got in the Dragons...

oh yeah, and the quitting smoking thing still sucks...

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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

For Starters...

Here's just a little something to get things started. As the summer rolls on, look for stuff about the Tiki Bar, the Boat, and whatever else might be happening... speaking of happening I (Tom) quit smoking last weekend. I now want to kill sombody... this sucks... Click Here to Read More..